If you, like me, are a Catholic parent with a somewhat melancholic disposition, it can be easy to despair, or at least panic, about passing on the faith to our children. As statistics reveal that Christianity seems to be well on its way toward becoming a minority religion in America by 2070 - and as we continue to confront a post-Christian culture that is increasingly at philosophical odds with the fundamental premises of our faith - the task of handing on our faith to our children has never been more urgent - or more challenging.
Our faith teaches us not to despair, however. The first antidote to panic is, of course, prayer, and trust that God cares for all things in His merciful providence. Additional consolation also comes from knowing that we are not powerless in the face of these trends. As parents, there are proactive steps we can take to defy the odds and nourish the faith in our kids.
Family Practices that Support the Faith
In 2021, The Pillar published a report by Brendan Hodge exploring why Catholics in the United States leave the Church - and why they stay. The study revealed some fascinating correlations. For instance, taking your children to Mass every Sunday doesn't necessarily correlate with an increased likelihood of their identifying as Catholic as adults. But for those who do continue to identify as Catholics, weekly Mass attendance as children does seem to correlate strongly with continued weekly Mass attendance as adults. Attending Mass with both parents also was correlated with significantly higher rates of Catholic identification and Mass attendance in adulthood.
Also intriguing was the finding that the most common reason that people gave for ceasing to attend Mass was simply moving away from family and the church of their youth - presumably where they felt most comfortable and had formed a habit of participation and attendance. Combining this finding with the second most common reason for ceasing to attend Mass - feeling that attendance "didn't matter" - reveals the need for Catholic parents both to impress the essentiality of Mass upon their children but also to support them in finding a new faith community when they leave home.
Beyond fulfilling weekly Mass obligations, however, weaving the faith into the daily life of your family - and practicing what our faith preaches - seem to strongly correlate with remaining Catholic and attending Mass regularly. In fact, the study showed that the more of the following practices families engaged in on at least a weekly basis, the more likely it was for kids to remain Catholic as adults:
reading the Bible.
volunteering.
praying the Rosary.
going to confession.
attending Eucharistic adoration.
Eighty-two percent of those who engaged in all five of these practices as children on a weekly basis remained Catholic as adults, with nearly 60 percent maintaining regular Mass attendance of once a week or more.
The Primary Importance of Parents
These findings bolster the conclusions of Christian Smith, a sociologist at the University of Notre Dame who has spent much of his career exploring the religious lives of young adults. In an article for First Things, Smith summarizes the findings of his book Handing Down the Faith, in which he argues that parents have the strongest influence on their children's spiritual lives. He writes:
The empirical evidence is clear. In almost every case, no other institution or program comes close to shaping youth as religious as their parents do - not religious congregations, youth groups, faith-based schools, mission and service trips, summer camps, Sunday school, youth ministers or anything else. Those influences can reinforce the influence of parents, but almost never do they surpass or override it.
Smith points to three key things parents can do to support the faith of their children:
Adopt an authoritative parenting style (as opposed to disengaged, authoritarian, or permissive).
Talk about religion routinely in ordinary, everyday life.
"Channel" their children towards friendships, relationships, and activities that reinforce their faith, and especially encourage kids to get to know non-family adults who can serve as models and mentors of the faith.
The Role of a Catholic School
It is in this last domain - of "channeling" children towards communities that support and reinforce the family's faith - that a good Catholic school can play an essential role. A good Catholic school will never attempt to undermine the family's role as the primary spiritual educator of the child. What a Catholic school can do is support parents in that process by providing a community where they can find like-minded parents who share their values, can trust that their children will be surrounded by peers from families who share their values, and can know that their children will find teachers and mentors among the school staff who will model a life of joyful faith.
Unfortunately, in our current climate, where it seems that so much of what schools are doing is designed to undermine parents' rightful authority over the religious, spiritual, and moral upbringing of their children, parents may be hard-pressed to find a school they can trust - or one they can affordably access. This is why we are exploring the possibility of opening a new high school - one that is joyfully Catholic and committed to working in partnership with parents to support the faith of their children.
As parents, we have looked long and hard at the educational landscape here in Massachusetts, and we believe a new school is needed: one with a firm commitment to fidelity to the Magisterial teaching of the Church that is also affordable and accessible to families of moderate means. We believe the model laid out by the Chesterton Schools Network will support us in our goals, and we are eagerly exploring the possibility of bringing a Chesterton school to Massachusetts.
If you share the same goal and the same desire, we urge you to join us! We invite you to visit our website, join our mailing list, and stay in touch. Above all, we humbly implore your prayers as we seek to serve God and the Church by serving Catholic families and children. Know of our prayers for you - may God prosper the work of your hands and fill your homes with His blessing.
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